To Be, or Not to Be... You

"Tension is who you think you should be.  Relaxation is who you are." ~ Chinese Proverb

Social conventions tell us to look and act a certain way and most of us willingly follow these instructions to achieve success:

• We should study business in college -- not the arts;
• We should dress for success or somehow this "success," which is often defined by social conventions, will elude us; 
• We should follow a career path that advances our monetary worth and social status -- not necessarily our self-worth and self-status;
• And we should work hard and sacrifice much of our mental, spiritual and physical health in the first two-thirds of our life so we may finally achieve the holy grail of personal finance, financial freedom, in the final one-third of our life.

"We get so much in the habit of wearing disguises before others that we finally appear disguised before ourselves." ~ Francois de la Rochefoucauld

To be honest with you, the inspiration for this post came primarily from recent discussions I've had with friends and business associates for the purpose of helping me with new marketing materials for my investment advisory firm.

Common advice given to me, specifically with regard to my personal image for use in a brochure, is that the photo should be one of me wearing a suit and tie, because this is an image that meets the "expectations" of society at large, especially those of prospective clients of my firm.

I have a few problems with this conventional financial adviser image:  One problem is that I do not own a "suit and tie" -- I have a few ties and a sport coat but no ensemble that can be defined as such. The other problem I have is that I feel that this formal image is pretentious -- so much to the degree that I do not feel comfortable dressing this way -- almost as if it were a costume or disguise.

"You spent the first half of your life becoming somebody.  Now you can work on becoming nobody, which is really somebody.  For when you become nobody there is no tension, no pretense, no one trying to be anyone or anything.  The natural state of the mind shines through unobstructed -- and the natural state of the mind is pure love." ~ Ram Dass

Perhaps it is a "mid-life" issue I am dealing with, but since I started my own business a few years ago, I have simply felt no desire to "be somebody," or to be anything but completely myself, in everything that I do.

Don't get me wrong, I do occasionally wear ties and I certainly believe in the general business rule that you do not under-dress your clients and you conduct yourself in an appropriate manner given the environment.

In other words, I won't show up to a corporate board meeting wearing flip-flops and a Hawaiian shirt while quoting Plato; however, I simply and firmly believe that I should be who I am -- the mode of being that makes me feel most comfortable, which ultimately translates into a more honest, sincere and effective delivery of service to my clients. 

If society at large and prospective clients expect me to be someone or something different other than my self, then I will assume the supposed risk of refusing this expectation...

"I care not so much what I am to others as what I am to myself.  I will be rich by myself and not by borrowing." ~ Michel de Montaigne

As you may have guessed, I will use the "casual" image (as seen here and in the margin of this page), rather than the formal image of me (which does not exist) in my 2009 marketing brochure!

I would rather have less material wealth as my self than more material wealth as someone else...

What do you think?  Do you expect financial professionals to act and look a certain way?  If so, how should that be?  Bernie Madoff, at one time, certainly met the expectations of social conventions.  Does (or should) that fact change our preconceived notions?

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Related Posts:

The Knowing-Doing Gap

The Deconstruction of Social Convention & The 'Unlearning Process'

 

Comments

[The Brandless Blog]

Hi Kent,

"Dressing-up" is a form of respect which I think is important in any service industry. Just as important as not dressing too sloppily, they cannot be too flashy or bright because the main focus should still be on the service and not the appearance.

It is a sad fact, but first impression is still the most important factor a customer choose to determine a "capable","trust-worthy" and "professional" financial advisors.

The Madoff's case is a really a one-off incident.

Rendell
www.BrandlessBlog.com

[Kent @ The Financial Philosopher]

Rendell:

I agree completely with your assessment of "dressing-up," especially with your implied sentiment with regard to the "first impression" factor.

While it is often necessary for the "impressor" to "dress the part," much like the packaging of a product, it is also prudent for the "impressee" to remember that there is much more than meets the eye than an attractive package.

On Madoff, I will agree that the extremity of the case may be, as you say, a "one-off incident;" the frequency of this type of incident, however, is much more common than is reported, albeit on much smaller scale...

In fact, a similar case (in the millions instead of billions) occurred in my home town just a few years ago...

Thanks for adding to the conversation.

Cheers...

[margaret]

I have been reading your blog for a while, and really loved this post.

I think many people are deluded by the 'package' as much as people are deluded into choosing the financially lucrative career, rather than be who they "truly" are.

you may get fewer clients, but then again you may get more-- perhaps there is a bigger market than we might think for financial advisors who wear t-shirts and jeans.

the point, of course, is not that you're doing it to capture a wide market. You are presenting yourself honestly and I think that kind of honesty resonates with people, and will aid in your success.

[Kent @ The Financial Philosopher]

Margaret:

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and for reading this blog.

With regard to the "package" you speak of, I agree that I may attract fewer clients or I may even attract more clients with a less-than-formal appearance.

My expectation is that I will attract fewer clients in the short-term but potentially receive higher frequency and higher quality referrals from existing clients in the long-term, especially if what is beneath the "package" is valuable to the clients.

Either way, I will be quite content just being "who I am."

Thanks again for sharing your thoughts and for reading this blog...