The 'secret' to happiness... is no secret

"Health is the greatest possession.  Contentment is the greatest treasure.  Confidence is the greatest friend.  Non-being is the greatest joy."  ~ Lau-tzu

I continue to find myself amazed, yet not surprised, that the same human flaws have perpetuated, if not strengthened, over the last 5000 years or so of recorded human history.  The featured quote from Lau-tzu (604BC - 531BC) demonstrates that our misguided and relentless pursuit of happiness has persisted for at least three millenniums, if not since the beginning of human existence, but to our detriment, we continue to overlook the wisdom of contentment...

In fact, I hesitated to write this post because the ideas found within it have been written and said so many times, yet their virtues are rarely applied, that it seems almost futile to repeat the wisdom.  The underlying purpose of this post, therefore, is the profound irony in that the "secret" to happiness is really no secret at all.  We all know, at least somewhere buried within us, that our relentless pursuit of happiness is flawed... yet we are led by something that tells us to pursue it anyway...

"All truly wise thoughts have been thought already thousands of times; but to make them truly ours, we must think them over again honestly, till they take root in our personal experience." ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

A large part of my usage of philosophy in my posts and in my day-to-day life is not just to leverage the knowledge and wisdom of the greatest thinkers in history but to illustrate that the answers to our questions of life already exist -- and they have existed for thousands of years.  We simply need to discover them and apply them.

Why don't we follow that wisdom?

Last night, while I was flipping through the pages of a few my favorite books for some blog post ideas, I happened to catch a glimpse of a 60 Minutes piece, And The Happiest Place on Earth Is..., by Morley Safer.  I decided to move into the next room and watch it...

While I was curious as to where "the happiest place on Earth" would be, I was especially interested in what the people of this happy place would say and if their attitudes and values align with the timeless wisdom of philosophy that we study here on this blog every week...

"My opinion is that you never find happiness until you stop looking for it."  ~ Chuang Tzu 

The happiest place on Earth, according to a scientific survey conducted by Leicester University in England, was Denmark.  Here are a few things the Danes had to say about their happiness when Mr. Safer asked, "Just describe for me the qualities that a successful person would have in this country:"

"Well, in order to see myself as a success I would want to be happy and have a lot of time with my family.  I think that's very important to me.  And the money is not that important."

Another Dane responded that happiness "is more about the softer values, such as not being stressed, and feeling passionate about what I'm doing.  Maybe this job is not gonna pay me a lot of money.  But I'm gonna love getting up and doing it every day."

"If thou wilt make a man happy, add not unto his riches but take away from his desires." ~ Epicurus

A common thread throughout the interviews with the Danish people is that they did not reflect on their existence and describe it as "happy."  They considered themselves as "content," which is a direct result of keeping expectations low and the realization that more money does not necessarily mean more happiness.

Their contentedness is not a result of great wealth, as most of us may tend to guess, and it is quite telling that America is number 23 on the list, yet there is arguably more monetary wealth and opportunity here than anywhere else in the world.

The people of Denmark have not struck upon anything new -- they simply practice, without any real conscious choice, the wisdom and virtue of contentment... 

"Don't aim at success.  The more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you will miss it.  For success, like happiness, can not be pursued; and it only does so as the unintended side-effect of one's dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one's surrender to a person other than oneself.  Happiness must happen and the same holds for success:  you have to let it happen by not caring about it.  I want you to listen to what your conscience commands you to do and go on to carry it out to the best of your knowledge.  Then you will live to see -- in the long run, I say! -- success will follow you precisely because you had forgotten to think of it." ~ Viktor Frankl

Ironically, the book I was flipping through as the 60 Minutes piece was airing was Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning.  I planned to build today's post on the preceding quote but I believe it to be fitting to end the post with his wisdom... and a few more questions for you:

Is the pursuit of happiness a flawed pursuit?  Assuming most of us know this, why do we continue with this flawed pursuit? 

If it is happiness that we wish to find, how can we find it if we do not really know what it is?  If we do not begin our quest for happiness by defining it, how do we know when to stop looking for it? 

If you have more monetary and material wealth now than you did, say 10 years ago, can you honestly say that your happiness increased incrementally with your wealth over that time frame?

Is happiness created or does it just happen?

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Related Posts:

Enabling Opportunities

Mind vs. Brain Part II:  Pursuits, Priorities & Productivity

Curing Affluenza

Comments

[Peter]

Great article, Kent. While I do think its very important to have goals and personal values and to constantly seek self-improvement, I do think the pursuit of happiness (especially when tied to one's monetary wealth) is a highly flawed pursuit. I strongly believe that happiness will follow the individual that seeks good health, great friendships, solid family relationships, a meaningful career, spiritual peace, and fun and rewarding hobbies. Today, I live in a bigger house, drive a nicer car, have a larger salary and have much more money tucked away in my retirement and investment accounts...and overall, I don't feel any happier than I did 10 years ago. Very happy then, very happy now!

[The Financial Philosopher]

Great, Peter! I'm glad to hear that!

I have observed that most people are no more happy or no more miserable than they were in the past, regardless of how their monetary positions have changed.

As an alternate view, I know a few people who actually have LESS than they did before but they are MORE happy now than they ever were before!

Thanks again for the comment...

Kent

[Oz]

A wonderful professor of Islam once related to me how the nature of humanity is forgetfulness and that we need reminders. Of course then it's no wonder that we have to relearn the wisdom from the past. That's not entirely a bad thing to experience, however. =)

My lack of much life experience limits from knowing much about the workaday world and the pursuit of happiness that people try to find through that. I've had the experience of a 9-5 job and it was all right but the happiness I've found in the last few years in high school and college were working together with people, enjoying good company, and experiencing wisdom, particularly through Buddhism and philosophy. Not sure how this happiness business goes around, but it certainly doesn't seem to involve excessive monetary and material wealth.

There's a saying by the venerable Ajahn Chah: "Joy at last to know there is no happiness in the world." If you have the time, here's a dhamma talk about the same thing.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ex5a4a40k6s

Thanks again for your post, Kent!

[The Financial Philosopher]

Oz:

The quotes from the Danish people in my post were College students. They presented themselves as individuals who have the same joys and pains as anyone else in the world; however their path to happiness is made easier because they have what most others do not have... enough!

I am sure your study of philosophy will not remove the challenges you will face in life but it will make them a bit easier to face and you will embrace the learning opportunities that can be found in the challenges...

Cheers...

Kent

[fiony]

interesting!

[jimcos42]

The Dharmic traditions point out quite clearly: The search for happiness produces the suffering (which is diffrent from pain) of unhappiness. All suffering is either about remembering the past or desiring (often with worry or concern) a particular future.

But in this moment, and this one, and this one, I am neither happy nor unhappy. I just am. None of us live in the moment. We're always about the past or the future, and thus always in some kind of suffering.

Suffering is the price I pay to bring my baggage on board to the flight of my life.

[The Financial Philosopher]

jimcos42:

As always, I appreciate your philosophical outlook.

I do agree that "self-help" is often counter-productive and hyper-intentional.

Depending on how you define the word, "moment," I only partially agree, however, with your statement that "none of us live in the moment."

In general, I would tend to agree that most of us spend our time either in the past or future and our present state is influenced by one or the other but I believe we can make a conscious effort to "be here now."

I can worry about my financial future, remenisce about yesterday or consciously decide to listen and really tune in to my 3-year old son explain to me how his toy works.

Daniel Goleman describes this as a trait rather than a state and is called "mindful attention to the present moment." This trait certainly takes practice and, hopefully, can be turned into a habit...

Thanks for provoking thought, as always...

Kent

[Charles]

Webster's Definition of being content: "happy enough with what one has or is; not desiring something more or different; satisfied"

I believe that some degree of unhappiness and not being totally content is necessary for survival and progress.

If one did not remember the unhappiness of past experiences of hunger pains, and did not worry about future possibilities of starvation, one would starve to death sitting in his cave being totally content. Living in a cave also has its drawbacks. You are not totally sheltered from the environment, and you have to occasionally fight off bears and lions who are wanting your cave.

Living in my modern house, I have the best shelter from the environment of any generation before me, and I have not had to fight off any bears or lions lately. I guess that I am happy and content that my ancestors were not so happy or content about living in caves!

Charles

[The Financial Philosopher]

Charles:

I agree with your point that we may better know joy if we have known sorrow.

Of course, willfully allowing ourselves to suffer and perpetually lowering our expectations in order to make ourselves "content" is a bit sadistic.

Everything does have a balance...

"There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness." ~ Carl Jung

Thanks for your thoughts...

Kent

[budding gardener]

"If it is happiness that we wish to find, how can we find it if we do not really know what it is?"

I do have more money now than I did ten years ago, and I am happier than I was then. Not because I have more money, but because of what that money enables me to do. I can buy time with it. I am free to do the things that make me happy. But having money alone wasn't enough. I then had to figure out what it was I really enjoyed doing.

I spent a lot of years on school (studying philosophy, among other things), and built up a huge amount of debt. Having money has enabled me to free myself from that debt, and the stress that came with it. It two months I will be debt free, and am considering taking a job that pays less, in order to have more time and energy for things that I truly enjoy in life.