"I'd rather have my Daddy than money." -- C.Thune, age 5
The one-year anniversary for TFP is drawing near so I decided to post this article originally posted, November 1, 2006. The first TFP post, ever!
Leave it to children to deliver the profound truth! My five-year old son made this statement at a time in my life when I was working hard to “climb the corporate ladder” by spending more time at the office and on the road than at home. It was the exception rather than the rule to spend more than one hour per day with my wife and two young boys. Finally, my five-year old asked why I had to be away from him so much. I had to think for a moment to deliver my answer in a way that a five-year old could understand. The only answer I could muster was that I had to go to work to earn money to pay for all the things we have. My son did not need to think more than two seconds before delivering his answer – “I’d rather have my Daddy than money.” That really hit me hard. For several days after that powerful exchange I kept asking myself, “Why am I really working so hard?” “Where will this hard work ultimately lead me and my family?”
For years, I had rationalized and justified my long hours of hard work by telling myself and my family that I was working hard for them – that by spending time away from them at work I could advance my career and earn more money, which would be good in the long run for the whole family. My son made me realize that I was actually doing quite the opposite. The haunting lyrics and melody of “Cats in the Cradle” kept popping in my mind. I was working hard to increase my earning potential to improve our lifestyle -- but at the expense of our happiness. Why did we really need more money? How much is money "worth?" If not for my long hours at the office, our lifestyle would be perfectly acceptable. Why did I need to kill myself and miss a large portion of my sons’ childhood to “make our lives better” at some unknown point in the future, if ever? I could make our lives better by spending more time with my family than by running in a race that can not be won. I realized that I was in the proverbial “rat race” and I had to get out. I was chasing money...
As many of my readers already know, my story has a happy ending that continues today: I completely removed myself from the rat race to start my own financial planning firm. I work more hours now than ever but I work the hours of my choosing...
By now, you may be thinking to yourself, “Hey Kent, that’s a nice story but I’m not in a position to do anything like that in my life at this time.” That may be true, but you can always PLAN for it…
Unfortunately, there is more than one way that people can chase money. My personal example is only one of many. To move forward with my daily dose of philosophy and inspiration, let’s find out if you are “chasing money” and how to go about changing that:
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When you receive a pay raise, do you increase your spending?
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Are you sacrificing your highest priorities (family, personal interests, “down time”) to climb the corporate ladder?
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Do you find yourself “stressed out” or “never having time” to do things that you find personally rewarding?
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Do you find yourself “robbing Peter to pay Paul” by spending more than you make then perpetuating a “debt consolidation cycle” of credit card balance transfers and mortgage refinancing?
If you answered "yes" to any of those questions, you may need to make some adjustments. As you might imagine, there are countless books written that attempt to offer solutions to each of the preceding questions. Inspirational books, articles, and even my Blog offer just what they promise – inspiration. However, inspiration without action means you just wasted either time, money, or both that got you nowhere. Let me say that again: Inspiration without action means you just wasted either time, money, or both that only got you nowhere. You have to start at the beginning – your personal desires. If you want something bad enough, you can obtain it with the right mindset and road map to get you there...
Since I am writing a web log and not a book, I will give you three suggestions that can set you on the right path, as long as you are ready!
- Write a personal “mission statement” and stick to it. The mission statement should include your core values and priorities that define what you are trying to achieve with your life. If certain activities (working long hours, going further into debt, sacrificing priorities) go against your “mission” then those activities should be avoided. To help you get started, try the FranklinCovey online Mission Statement Builder . If you prefer reading a book, I like Stephen Covey’s, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People .
- Stop reading and start the action! If you’re a normal person, you probably would like to make a change but you’re frozen by inertia. To set your life straight, finances probably will play a large role in doing that. Hire a “fee only” Financial Planner that will give unbiased advice and guide you through effective “life” planning and goal setting with ongoing advice to make sure you are on track to achieve your goals. The Home page on my web site helps explain the value of a fee only planner.
- Consider hiring a “career coach.” The National Career Development Association can be a good place to start in your search.
- Define your own success. If you don't, you're only chasing someone else's definition or that of society in general.
Personally, I believe doing all of the above will achieve optimal results. Poor financial health and a stressful career will erode at everything else in your life.
Are you chasing money? If you are then stop! Once you do, the money will find its way to you…
Here's the link to "Are You Chasing Money? Part Two: Investing," originally posted November 2, 2006. Thanks for being a part of TFP's success over the past 12 months....
